Twenty- fours Months and Counting

Shame on me for keeping you readers leaning on the edge of your seats for my word and not writing for months. (not) Actually a combination of things have happened to me since having my weight loss surgery. First of all my attitude, mental thinking and food preferences have changed. In seminar, the staff warned about this and they weren't kidding. I have had events happen that have been both good and bad. I guess pushed back into the deep recesses of my mind I was thinking that after having gastric bypass in August of 2009,that my surgery was going to “magically” fix my life? No I am not being facetious when I say this, just perceptions of unexpected expectations have shifted from that of being a obese woman to being a thin woman boarding on anorexic (my husband swears I am nowhere near that.) The woman inside hasn't changed, I am still the same ol' gal some of you know, love,hate, envy or despise. Yes, I'd still milk a cow if given the chance.


I get up every morning looking into the bathroom mirror knowing that the woman I am staring at is somehow related to me. Same bluish-grey eyes, an old scar on the left laugh line and reddish-blond hair with slight greying around the temples.Of all things, I favor my grandmother Nina Calvert. The biggest thing that stands out, is my throat, neck and shoulders. Thin shoulders that slope to a case of mild chicken wings,(not BQ) and skin so thin because there is the absence of fat padding my medium frame, that I turn blue with every small bump. Looking down, my boobs have divorced me and I can actually see my feet without sucking in my gut. Given that overall, I think I look pretty good. Nothing to write home about, but enough for someone who knows me to walk up to me and ask me have I been ill? I smile and politely tell them no I had surgery. Some people think they know me and have the OMG look on their face, When I am finished explaining, they usually nod, smile and ask “Do you feel better? Would I do it again?” I don't hesitate when I tell them “Yes I would.”


My mind drifts back to my surgery date of August 17, 2009. I was a fifty-two year old woman with numerous health problems, I stood a good weight of two-hundred and ninety-three pounds. I am only 5'4 and was wearing 2X-3X in clothing, struggling to breathe with every step while both my knees were killing me. One thing you can't change is genetics, there are those family traits you will have passed on that you have no control over. An example would be that my mom has Type II Diabetes, congestive heart failure and blood pressure problems, she developed those problems due to the fact she just quit moving around to stay healthy and became a couch potato. Sadly at age eighty, she is confined to a wheel chair and most of her daily care is by attendants. I was bound and determined NOT to wind up like her. I love my mother, no question of that. My mother's failing health is was gave me the incentive to have weight loss surgery and to start living a healthier lifestyle.


Since having surgery twenty-four months ago my weight has dropped by about one-hundred and twenty five pounds (almost one whole person.) I am now wearing a size 14-16 in pants and 12-14 in tops. When I go shopping, I go to the regular ladies department instead of the Plus Size. Old habits die hard, I still walk into the larger stalls in restrooms and giggle when I realize that I don't have to.... anymore. Funny how you get used to a way of living and then one thing or event, can change the whole thing. Hmmmm... events.


Good things! Let me focus on the positive things. I am doing some acting and stand up comedy as a middle-aged Southern woman. Maude Ellen Brooks is a character of mine. Maude is nosy, widowed and a gossip, worse than any coon dog. Being “Maude” gives me an outlet for my shenanigans. I think there has always been an actress inside me trying to get out. I love entertaining people and making them smile. Just this morning, I had to kick Maude in the rump to make her crawl back into the closet, she shot me a sign before I slammed the door in her face. Just the first part of this year I have signed with talent agents, never thought that would happen. For the first time I my life I am getting some respect, it's a shame that it took losing some weight before people acknowledge you have talent. People should love us for WHO we are, not WHAT we are. I can only hope this entry and the ones to come will inspire others to reach out for things. Come out of your shell and share a laugh with others. You won't know what talents you have until you get your feet wet. Come on, the waters fine.